April 2012
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Remember the internet when we were kids?
palauanrocks:
savedbyahweh:
naddyrg:
clearly-misunderst0od:
queenofmultitasking:
absoluutebliss:
first of all, who allowed me on the internet
#the opening line of my biography
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Watching a new pv of LM.C:
ruu-hime:
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batdanz:
spicyblaine:
FAVE POST
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Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time travelling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England.
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mum: what are you doing?
me: bonding with people on the internet over teenagers killing each other for entertainment on tv in a dystopian society
mum:
me:
mum:
me: close the door on your way out please
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muggleland:
i love the sense of community in the classroom when you all know you failed the test
when you get an A on a paper you did the night before it was due
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me: I'll just get on tumblr for a few minutes before bed
me:
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me: Is that the sun
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At school...
Me: I hate you all, you're all idiots.
Me: Why is that person staring at me.
Me: Omg what would happen if a man just burst in the room with a gun. I would totally be the heroic person who sacrifices themselves for others.
Me: No I don't know the answer to this question. Oh god, the teacher's going to call on me. My hand is not raised. Oh god oh god oh god, leave me alone. Act busy, just act busy. Abort mission, I repeat, abort mission.
Me: My stomach just growled. When the fuck is lunch.
Me: We should make a class Hunger Games. Where everyone dies.
Me: Fuck I wish I studied..
Me: No, seriously, never open your mouth again.
Me: Ew, my teacher has children. They're sexually active. I wonder when they had sex for the first time. I wonder if they did drugs as a teenager. I totally bet they did.
Me: Yeah, no, if a man walked in with a gun, I totally wouldn't sacrifice myself for these idiots. I would hide under my desk and tell him to just take them all.
Me: Seriously, it's only been a minute.
Me: I will never use this shit in my life.
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Watch
Saturday Night Live: Sofia Vergara | The Hunger Games
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My stages of band-related obsession.
Me: Who the fuck are they?
Me: Oh, I like this song.
Me: Oh, I like this album.
Me: Hey, the lead singer is pretty attractive.
Me: Oh hey there, so is the guitarist. And the bassist. And the drummer. Heh.
Me: I need to see this band live.
Me: I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. LOOK THEY'RE SO WONDERFUL
Me: YOU PERFECT FUCKING BASTARDS ARE RUINING MY LIFE WITH YOUR MUSIC AND YOUR FACES AND YOUR PERSONALITIES AND OH MY GOD I CAN'T EVEN ADSFSFLKNHSLKFHK *sobs continuously*
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